A Presidential Road Trip
by Crackers and Cheese
Summary: Jon and Stephen go on a road trip to try to spend time together and then craziness happens! Sequel to The President's Dilemma. Same All-Star cast: Jon Stewart, "Stephen Colbert" Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel, Craig Ferguson and Conan O'Brian, plus a bear and a Spanish dude.
1. Prologue: The Idea

**A Presidential Road Trip Pt. 1 or 'The Idea'**

_Washington D.C.,_  
_The White House,_  
_Thursday August 14, 2014_

_The Oval Office- Early Afternoon_

"Jon, I have the perfect idea for us to spend more time together!" Stephen yelled as he burst into the room.

Jon looked up for his daily huge stack of paper and frowned at him. Lately Stephen has been having ideas about Jon and him spending time together that have land on various levels on the crazy scale. Jon put his head in his hands as he waited to hear the latest crazy thought Stephen has been having in his brain.

"We should go on a road trip!" Stephen said. Jon's eyes widened. That was actually a decent idea. But...

"Stephen, I have a bill I need to finishing looking over. I have to sign it on Monday."

"So? We'll be back by Sunday evening!" Stephen said. "Please Jon?"

Jon looked in Stephen brown eyes and knew he couldn't protest any longer. He also knew that he needed a break from the tiring day to day stress of being the president. Besides, he can bring the bill to read during the trip.

"Alright," Jon said and Stephen cheered.

"Great, we're leaving tomorrow morning. By the way, I don't call shotgun!" Stephen added as he flew through the door.

After Stephen left, Jon began to have second thoughts. Could the White House- and the country- handle three days without a president? Probably, since Jon knew that Jimmy Fallon could handle any situation that could possibly unfold within three days. Jon kept reminding himself that nothing crazy will happen on this little road trip they're having.

Well, Jon hoped not.

***888***888***888***

****_Outside the White House- Friday Morning_

Jon and Jimmy F. stood by the White House gates as Stephen loaded the rented car. "You remember my cell phone number, right?" Jon asked for the sixth time that day.

Jimmy F. sighed but said, "Yep. It's 202-555-0683."

"Alright. Good," Jon said, still a bit uneasy about leaving. He began to walk towards the car but stopped and said, "Seriously Jimmy, in case of an emergency you need to call me. Even if the littlest problem occurs, I know it seems like it's not a big deal, but trust me, call me alright?"

Jimmy resisted rolling his eyes. Jon always gave this speech when he left the White House. It looks like today was no exception, despite the fact that Jon will still be in the United States, rather than out.

"Yes sir," Jimmy said and then pushed Jon towards the car. "Now go have fun!"

As soon as Jon climbed into the car Jimmy ran back inside the White House. "Hey everyone!" he yelled and the White House staff stopped what they were doing.

"Stewart and Colbert are out! IT'S PARTY TIME!" The staff whooped and hollered, and soon the White House was in a frenzy as they all gathered what they needed for the party.

Jimmy smiled. He didn't know what will happened to Jon and Stephen on their trip but he knew one thing: He was going to have a_ great_ three-day weekend.

***888***888***888***

_Highway- Washington D.C. to Virginia_

_Late Morning_

Stephen eyed Jon as he put on his seatbelt. "Are you ready to go on this trip?"

"Not really, but I'm going to do it anyway," Jon sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Stephen observed this and decided Jon wasn't exactly in the traveling spirit. He was going to remedy that.

"You know what? It looks like you're really stressed right now," Stephen said. "And as you know, the only way to get rid of stress is listening to good ol' patriotic music!"

Jon protested, "Stephen, no-" but Stephen already turned on the radio and the first notes of 'God Bless the U.S.A.' flooded the car.

Jon groaned. It wasn't that he didn't like the song, it's just Stephen played it every time Jon was stressed. And ever since he became president, that was all the time.

To make it worse, as he started to drive Stephen began to sing along to the music at the top of his lungs. Stephen had a great singing voice, but combined with the song and the headache that he was now developing, he couldn't find the will to appreciate it.

When Stephen started to encourage him to sing along too Jon sighed. They weren't even at the highway yet and he was already regretting going on this trip. He hoped that this was going to worse part of the trip because if it wasn't, he'll need some aspirin.


	2. The Lonely Road

A Presidential Road Trip Pt. 2

_Highway- Virginia_  
_Friday, Early Afternoon_

When they stopped in the middle of a traffic jam Jon asked Stephen an important question: "Where are we actually going?"

Stephen tapped the steering wheel nervously and looked around the car, as if he was searching for an answer. Jon knew then that whatever Stephen was going to say wasn't going to be good.

"Well?" Jon prompted.

"The South?" Stephen said, unsure.

"Where in the South?" Jon questioned.

"Umm...where the road takes us?" Stephen mumbled quickly.

"What?" Jon exclaimed, suddenly getting it. "You don't know where we're going, do you?"

"No, I don't," Stephen admitted. "I didn't know if you were going in the first place, so I didn't bother to actually plan the trip."

Jon sighed he laid back on his seat. "I can't believe I'm still going to do this."

"You're staying?" Stephen asked excitedly.

"Of course I am," Jon said. "I can't walk back to the White House can I?"

Stephen grinned. "At least this ride will be an adventure! Maybe we'll get some surprises along the way!"

"I hate surprises," Jon grumbled and crossed his arms. As Stephen began to hum 'God Bless the U.S.A. Jon groaned.

Next time they go on one of these trips he'll bring earplugs.

*******888***888***888***

_White House_  
_Dining Room_  
_Friday Night_

Back at the White House the party was in full swing. Alcohol flowed freely and music was pounding into everyone's ears. Then Conan had the nerve to call out "FOOD FIGHT'!" and the room dissolved into utter chaos as various foodstuffs were thrown into the air.

It was at that time Jimmy F.'s phone rang. "Man, this is the worst time for a phone call," Jimmy muttered as he dived behind an overturned table near the door to escape the impending madness that was a White House food fight. Jimmy leaned against the table as he answered the phone.

"Hello?" he asked over the roaring music.

_"Jimmy it's Jon,"_ Jon said from somewhere in Virginia.

"Oh, how's the trip going?" Jimmy asked, covering his phone with one hand to block out most of the noise from the party.

_"It hasn't been good so far,"_ Jon sighed. _"Can you believe Stephen doesn't even know where he's going?"_

"Yes, it seems very Stephen to me," Jimmy replied. "Well, at least it's now an adventure."

_"That's exactly what Stephen said!"_ Jon exclaimed and then instantly quieted down, probably because Stephen was beside him.

_"Anyway, we're somewhere in the middle of Virginia,_" Jon said more quietly. _"We'll take the next exit with an hotel to stay for the night. I'll call you in the morning, okay?"_

"Alright," Jimmy said as he ducked under a handful of cake that was thrown at him. After the line went dead, Jimmy took the handful of mashed potatoes right at Jimmy K., yelling, "That's for having the same name!"

***888***888***888***

Virginia, A Road in the Middle of Nowhere

Late Night

Jon ended his call with Jimmy F. as Stephen drove off the highway. "How far is the nearest hotel?" Jon asked.

"No idea if there is one," Stephen replied casually.

"What?" Jon exclaimed. "I told you to go to the nearest exit with an hotel!"

"Noo," Stephen retorted, "You said to go to the nearest exit. You didn't say anything about hotels."

"Yes I did!" Jon yelled, exasperated. He grumpily leaned back on his chair. "Well, I guess we'll have to hope there's one on this road."

There wasn't much hope, since the road they were currently travelling on had no buildings in sight, and it didn't look like that was going to change. The pitch blackness of the sky only increased the feeling of loneliness, since they were the only car on the road and their headlights could barely strike three feet of light onto the street below.

The whole atmosphere eventually started to lull Jon to sleep thirty minutes later. Watching the unchanging scenery of the land alongside the road can do that to a person. Besides, he has been exhausted for ages. As he was about to close his eyes, he suddenly remembered that bill he was supposed to read on the way here which, of course, he hasn't done yet. Ah well, he could do that tomorrow. All he wanted to do now was to just _sleep_.

As Jon dozed off in the seat beside him, Stephen gripped the steering wheel as he struggled not to doze off with him. Stephen started to realize that it was a losing battle so he started to look for a place to park the car. He knew he wasn't going to find a hotel around here.

Right before he found a place to park, Stephen saw a blackish blot in the distance. As he drove closer to it, he saw that what at first seemed like a small black dot now looked like a black dot that was as big as a car and was _moving_. Stephen now figured that it was an animal on the road.

Stephen gripped the steering wheel harder as he drove closer to the animal. He hoped it wasn't the animal he thought it was...

By now Stephen could see more details of the animal. It had a big snout, beady little eyes, and big, sharp claws...

Stephen gasped as the headlights shone on the animal. It was a...it's a...

"OH MY GOD IT'S A BEAR!" Stephen screamed, and he promptly swerved the car off the road and into the forest alongside it.

Jon got a rude awakening as Stephen screamed at the top of his lungs when the car took a nosedive over a small cliff into the sea of trees.

Jon joined in the screaming as they narrowly avoided crashing into several trees. Soon after, they went over a small hill and crashed into a ditch below.

They both stopped screaming and caught their breath as they settled into their new situation. Jon turned to Stephen and yelled, "What the hell just happened?"

"I saw a bear," Stephen began. "A huge, black, vicious bear! In the middle of the road! What was I supposed to do, run over it?"

Jon looked out the window, which was brown because of all of the dirt outside. He sighed and said hesitantly, "Stephen, I think that this could be another...hallucination of yours..."

"No!" Stephen protested. "It's not a hallucination, not this time! It was a real bear! Look!" Stephen at the back window, which partially still showed the street.

Jon looked through the window to see a bear roaming across the street. "Wow that bear is huge!" Jon exclaimed.

"Exactly!" Stephen muttered. He looked around the car. "So, should we push this thing out of the ditch?"

Jon shook his head. "We can't see anything in the dark. We'll have to do it in the morning." He climbed out of seat and went into the back of the car. "I call dibs on the back seats."

Jon fished his phone out of his pocket, figuring he should tell Jimmy F. about the crash. When he turned the phone on he realized he had no signal. "There's no signal," he informed Stephen, who slid his iPhone back into his pocket when he heard the news.

Jon soon settled into a comfortable position on the back seats and was soon fast asleep. Stephen, however, was still wide awake. First day into the road trip they have already crashed the car. This wasn't the type of surprise he was hoping for.

He settled into the front seat and closed his eyes._ 'This trip can't get any worse, can it?_' was Stephen's last thought before he fell asleep.


End file.
